1. Clark Griswold: I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.
2. Clark Griswold: Christmas is about family, and togetherness, and merriment.
3. Clark Griswold: I like Clark W. Griswold. He’s a good man. He’s got a good heart.
4. Clark Griswold: I’m not a bad guy. I just want my family to be happy.
5. Clark Griswold: I’m not going to let anything ruin Christmas this year.
6. Ellen Griswold: Clark, you’re going to have a heart attack.
7. Clark Griswold: I don’t care if I have a heart attack. I’m going to have a perfect Christmas.
8. Ellen Griswold: Clark, you’re being ridiculous.
9. Clark Griswold: I’m not being ridiculous. I’m being Clark Griswold.
10. Cousin Eddie: Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.
11. Cousin Eddie: Keep the change, ya filthy animal.
12. Aunt Bethany: Clark, what are you doing with all those lights?
13. Clark Griswold: I’m trying to create a festive atmosphere.
14. Aunt Bethany: Clark, you’re going to blind someone.
15. Clark Griswold: I don’t care if I blind someone. I’m going to have a white Christmas.
16. Aunt Bethany: Clark, you’re crazy.
17. Clark Griswold: I know I’m crazy. But I’m also a genius.
18. Cousin Eddie: Hey, Clark, can I borrow your chainsaw?
19. Clark Griswold: No, you can’t borrow my chainsaw.
20. Cousin Eddie: Why not?
21. Clark Griswold: Because you’re a dangerous lunatic.
22. Cousin Eddie: I’m not a lunatic. I’m just a guy who likes to have a good time.
23. Clark Griswold: You’re a guy who likes to drink and drive.
24. Cousin Eddie: I only drink and drive when I have to.
25. Clark Griswold: You’re a menace to society.
26. Cousin Eddie: I’m not a menace to society. I’m a beloved member of the community.
27. Clark Griswold: You’re a drunk.
28. Cousin Eddie: I’m not a drunk. I’m just a happy man.
29. Clark Griswold: You’re a menace to Christmas.
30. Cousin Eddie: I’m not a menace to Christmas. I’m the spirit of Christmas.
31. Clark Griswold: You’re the spirit of drunk driving.
32. Cousin Eddie: I’m the spirit of giving.
33. Clark Griswold: You’re the spirit of taking.
34. Cousin Eddie: I’m the spirit of Christmas spirit.
35. Clark Griswold: You’re the spirit of bad Christmas spirit.
36. Cousin Eddie: I’m the best Christmas spirit there is.
37. Clark Griswold: You’re the worst Christmas spirit there is.
38. Cousin Eddie: Merry Christmas, Clark.
39. Clark Griswold: Merry Christmas, Eddie.
40. Cousin Eddie: You’re a good man, Clark Griswold.
41. Clark Griswold: You’re not so bad yourself, Eddie.
42. Clark Griswold: I’m glad you’re part of our family.
43. Cousin Eddie: I’m glad I’m part of your family too.
44. Clark Griswold: Merry Christmas, Eddie.
45. Cousin Eddie: Merry Christmas, Clark.
46. Clark Griswold: I love you, Ellen.
47. Ellen Griswold: I love you too, Clark.
48. Clark Griswold: I love our family.
49. Ellen Griswold: We love you too, Clark.
50. Clark Griswold: Merry Christmas.
51. Ellen Griswold: Merry Christmas.
52. Rusty Griswold: Merry Christmas, Dad.
53. Clark Griswold: Merry Christmas, Rusty.
54. Audrey Griswold: Merry Christmas, Dad.
55. Clark Griswold: Merry Christmas, Audrey.
56. Clark Griswold: I’m so proud of you kids.
57. Rusty Griswold: We’re proud of you too, Dad.
58. Audrey Griswold: You’re the best dad in the world.
59. Clark Griswold: I’